Guest Post, written by Arlene Westcott

No one goes into a marriage thinking they’ll ever have to face a divorce. Regardless of the reason, divorce can shake the whole constitution one has built a lot of time and effort on. Many people who have gone through this emotionally taxing process find themselves lost and unrecognizable.

Therapy can guide you in rediscovering and even reinventing yourself. A therapist will help you manoeuvre through this difficult time and give you a road map to where you could be. UK online therapists are the quickest and most convenient way to connect you to a licensed therapist either for face-to-face sessions or online, particularly if you don’t feel up to leaving your house right now.

Therapists are here to help you make those first steps in moving on from something as life-changing as divorce, but it’s all up to you if you want to take that step. Here are some tips by professionals to help you to move on to betterment.

Make Time To Grieve

You’re human, and just like the rest of us, you have the right to feel, be sad, and grieve the loss of life and lifestyle you’ve grown and settled in for so long. It’s easy to feel sad and lost, probably a bit defeated, and it’s okay to give yourself time to yourself in solitude to just feel. The thing to be wary of is not to stay in that state for too long. Give yourself a designated time. Emotions can become unfeasible if you allow them to run free; if you allow them to flow for too long, they’ll overwhelm you.

Let go of it little by little. You’re the focus. There is no pressure in getting over something you invested so many years and emotions into. Designate a time frame with an alarm; start with a number you think you need, then every fortnight or so, shorten that time. Be consistent, and most importantly, be considerate to yourself.

Reflect On The Positives

The aftermath of a divorce can often lower self-esteem, and some believe they are unlovable and worthless because of it. Thoughts may start eating away at the whys, hows, whats and ifs. When you fall into that negative thought process, take a step back and remind yourself of all you’ve done, achieved, and all the positives that make you- you! Before your marriage, during your marriage, and you’re still that person after marriage, maybe even with more merits now than ever before.

Be good to yourself. Treat yourself and focus on self-care.

Take Up Journal Writing

Elevate all your emotional struggles onto the pages of a journal. Letting all the raw, unfiltered emotions out by writing them down can help ease some of that pain. Journal writing can help you track the progress you’re making and help give you a more objective outlook.

Lean On and Grow Your Circle Of Friends

It is possible that before the divorce, you and your spouse shared friends, and it’s equally probable that you found out that some of those friends decided to side with your spouse. Another scenario can be that you have married friends that can no longer have time to hang out because they’re busy. In that case, find people, find single people that also share your interests or experiences. Old or new friends can help you transition into the new life you’re creating for yourself.

You’re Not Alone

Lean on friends and family, and talk through what you’re feeling. Join a support group of people in a similar situation as you. Share your feelings. Bottling up and isolating yourself will only cause more stress and get in the way of living. Talking about your experience is a step closer to getting your life back; this time, you can make it just the way you want without worrying about someone else’s input.

Don’t be ashamed to reinvent yourself. You deserve a life you dreamed of, and you were and still are a person with aspirations before getting married. Having people to support you through it will help you build the confidence to thrive.

Conclusion

The years you’ve spent in a relationship don’t define where you are and where you could be. Reflect on yourself and find the things that made you happy and enjoyed. Find the person you were before getting married. That person is the same but has grown with new experiences. Not every situation is ideal, but that doesn’t stray from the fact that you are the only one with the power over yourself, your actions, the person you decide to be and the path you choose to follow.

If you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out. Hope this article helps you find ways you can move forward. Take it a step at a time, and remember, every step counts.