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June 26, 2020

Strong Woman, It’s Time For Some Reckoning

Strong woman, it’s time for some reckoning.

I saw this post on Sherri Hunter’s Instagram page. It was written by @Lesliedwight

What if 2020 isn’t canceled?
What if 2020 is the year we’ve been waiting for?
A year so uncomfortable, so painful, so scary, so raw-
That it finally forces us to grow.
A year that screams so loud, finally awakening us
From all our ignorant slumber.
A year we finally accept the need for change.
Declare change. Work for change. Become the change.
A year we finally band together, instead of pushing each other further apart.

2020 isn’t canceled, but rather the most important year of them all

Leslie Dwight

This is such a powerful piece. I noticed she got some serious backlash about it- probably mainly because people felt she was speaking from a place of privilege and not acknowledging the plight of those oppressed and grieving, who have lost so much this year. They said she was ignoring the desperate place many people are in right now as a result of the impact COVID has had on our country and the deep wounds that have been ripped open again as a result of the movement.

People have accused her of toxic positivity.

Is it really though?

This piece does not sound Pollyanna to me. I’m not even sure it sounds hopeful. I think it is a direct call to wake up and pay attention to the direction our lives have been headed and to make a change.

Unfortunately, the truth is that we don’t grow from places of comfort. We have to be uncomfortable to choose to change.

So today, as many of us are still experiencing varying levels of discomfort, depending on how 2020 has affected you- I invite you to reckon with yourself? What in YOU needs to change? What ways of thinking and behaving do you know are holding you back?

As I have personally reckoned with myself, I have looked at my marriage, my parenting, my friendships, my work, my relationship with God.

And I can tell you, I have made some pivots. It started with COVID, recognizing that I needed to reduce our excessive activities schedule because they were usurping our family time. Of course, The pendulum has swung far too much to the opposite side and we need more activities now, but this time has allowed me to re-prioritize our life because I see that this slower pace is healthier.

I have had to look deep at my own prejudices and ask myself hard questions. As you may know if you follow me, I have also had hard conversations with friends.

I have made some pivots in my work because I realized that some ventures I had begun were taking me away from my core mission, values, and message. What is your core mission, value, and message? You don’t need to be an influencer to clearly state this for yourself.

We are all here for a purpose. If you aren’t super clear about what yours is and what you stand for- now is your time of reckoning.

What I don’t want is for you to walk through all of the uncomfortableness of 2020 and not allow it to change you. I didn’t say you needed to be productive today- please know that I am not calling you to productiveness. I am calling you to change.

I know this message is for everyone because as long as we have breath on this earth, we should be evolving, changing growing towards our ideal self.

reckonNow is the time for a reckoning.

The definition of reckoning is:

  • a time when people are forced to deal with an unpleasant situation which they have avoided until now.
  • a time when the effects of one’s past mistakes or misdeeds catch up with one.

It has also been described in the Bible as the Last Judgement of God after death when everyone is called to account for their actions committed in life.

Now, I’m not getting that deep here, necessarily. We don’t have to die to reckon with ourselves and we don’t always have to experience dire consequences to reckon with ourselves.

But often, we do need to feel uncomfortable.

Routines and normal regular life pre- 2020 made us feel in control. Our routines are comforting. But what a constant routine also does is dull your senses. Think about the times in your life when you’ve driven the same route repeatedly: after a certain number of trips, you start tuning out most of it.

I can’t tell you how many times I have driven to the office and don’t remember anything about the drive there. Or even worse, if I intend to stop by somewhere on the way home and before I know it I am in my driveway because I was on autopilot.

If you don’t get out of your comfort zone, you might find yourself tuning out much of your life on a daily basis. When you choose to experience new things or life steps in and disrupts your zone, your brain creates brand new neural pathways that fuel your creative spark and enhance your memory.

That’s why being uncomfortable is something you should embrace. Here’s the mind-blower; there is a unique region of your brain that is only activated when you see or experience completely new things.

That’s why the best art, music, writing, and other expressions come after really difficult periods in our history.

So, I’m asking you today to take that discomfort, that dis- ease, all of the difficult feelings of 2020 and figure out how you can use those to make changes in your life.

Here’s a suggestion:

Write down the four most important areas of your life- family, friends, faith, and work- probably. You know what yours are. Ask yourself- what needs to change? How is what’s going on in the world allowing me to see this differently?

Are your relationships on autopilot? Are you ignoring elephants in the room? This is a time of reckoning. It’s a time of feeling uncomfortable. You guys know that my mantra is to speak about the uncomfortable things. There is such freedom in not allowing your silence to imprison you in relationships.

I encourage you not to make all the changes at once! That is actually a recipe for failure. Choose the most important one- the hardest one and work on that until it becomes a habit first.

This post isn’t really about giving you steps, but just a gentle nudging.

It’s time for some reckoning.

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