The “Saving Him” Illusion: Love, Loss, and Finding Freedom

So many women in difficult relationships hold onto a dangerous belief: if I just love him enough, I can save him.

Psychotherapist and author Shavaun Scott knows this illusion all too well. In her memoir Nightbird (Pierian Springs Press, May 12), she unflinchingly shares her journey through an emotionally abusive marriage, her husband’s tragic suicide, and the painful yet liberating process of rebuilding her life.

In this conversation, Shavaun and I explore:

• Why so many women feel responsible for “saving” their partners—and how that belief keeps us trapped.
• How suicide or the threat of can be a control tactic and how greater awareness leads to compassion.
• The structural and emotional barriers that keep survivors in cycles of abuse—and what it takes to break free.
• How trauma, grief, and loss can become unlikely catalysts for healing, self-discovery, and even freedom.
• The power of authentic connection in reclaiming identity and rebuilding after devastation.

Shavaun’s story is raw, sobering, and ultimately full of hope. Whether you’ve faced abuse, grappled with loss, or love someone who has, her voice is a reminder that healing is possible, and freedom is worth fighting for.

Learn more about Shavaun’s work and her book Nightbird at shavaunscott.com.

Buy my book Stronger In The Difficult Places: here

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